13 February 2012- The Day before the Op...
Well it's the day before the Op, stress levels are high but mainly under control. More a bit later as I update you since the last blog.
Firstly 3 days ago I learnt that a good friend has just be diagnosed and will be undergoing a lumpectomy this week followed by radiotherapy. Her outlook is very serene and calm which eased my tensions when we chatted. She knows but I wish her all the best and look forward to celebrating the end of our journeys which could be around the same time.
So what has happened.
I had a lovely January mainly because I had the skiing trip to look forward to and I only had a brief meeting with Cheryl my breast nurse in the month. So could recover from last chemo and have a "normal" month.
Softies and Other Boobs
My meeting with Cheryl was to chat through any concerns about the Op and to chat through prostheses etc. Because I have this irrational fear of the operation, again I think because I have never had one. Cheryl advised that she will aim to have me early up the list for the Op so that I don't have to wait around - suits me. Turns out I am second on the list so that is great.
She passed across a softie - this is a sponge breast(complete with nipple). It is quite bizarre and I am sure some of you could consider other uses for these- any thoughts?
You are given this to wear initially while the Op wound heals. I was also told to bring in a soft bra(no under wiring initially) so I have a soft sports bra to use to start with.
As things heal I will then be measured for a gel boob. These are sized as our existing boobs and ladies who have a double mastectomy can choose any size they want.
The gel boob is a bit like an implant and are quite heavy. They sit inside your bra - either a bra specific for the purpose or you can just sew in a fabric wallet to existing bras which I will do to contain the gel boob.
There are 2 things that I can see that need to be considered and worked around. Firstly half of my cleavage will have gone- can half a cleavage go? So need to look at tops that aren't too low or wear the usual vest tops under lower tops.
Also because the gel boob isn't attached to me as my left over boob is when I lean forward this could move forward - interesting to see how this is handled(I don't mean by hands!). So my aim has to be movement minimisation and worse of all complete fall out!
Later on once things have settled I can have a gel boob that you glue on daily so you get over the free movement..
So my thoughts are I am going to go with whatever Gel boob is best and see how I feel about this for a while before even exploring a reconstruction. I may or may not be bothered by losing a boob. I haven't been bothered up to date but I think that is because my main concern is the Op.
I have had so may kind and comforting words and emails about the Op and do know it will be okay. Its just an irrational fear that will pass. All will be over this time tomorrow after all.
One thought is that as I have a reasonable boob size I could look to lose some weight - say get down to a size 10 and that would reduce size of my boob- but not really sure how likely that will be. I am going to get my fitness levels back up - started on the skiing holiday and will see what is achievable or whether I even need to consider this.
There are lots of choices - colours sizes etc. I understand the NHS supply all these initially but Cheryl also passed over a catalogue of underwear and swimwear which also offers lots of gel boobs in various materials etc. I can update more once I am fully kitted out.
A "Normal" Month
So back to January. Austria skiing was wonderful. Loads of snow and my fitness levels were better than anticipated. I only let Don carry my skis twice and we skied as we would have done before daily.
I didn't get to hear that snowflake that I understood baldies could do! Maybe its because I'm not a natural baldie! Also used Sarah or a hat so didn't get my head out while outside.
Whilst I opted to take Sarah rather than Wiggie Wig to introduce to Austria she didn't get up the mountain. I skied as usual with a helmet and wore a beanie hat underneath. Just tried to take care in the restaurants when taking off helmet that hat didn't come off- failed a couple of times.
Tropical moments were not an issue up the mountain or while skiing as kept me warm.
So would strongly recommend if you can taking time out between treatments as a) is fun and b) good for us.
Charity event at Jolly Jacks
The other fun event that took place in January was the Charity auction and meal for the benefit of the Primrose Foundation at Jolly Jacks restaurant and bar in Plymouth. The Primrose Foundation raises funds for the Primrose breast cancer ward at Derriford. Jolly Jacks is owned and run by the lovely Sue and Sal and I would recommend any visitors to Plymouth to pop in and have a meal , they're based out of Mayflower Marina and food and ambiance are just great.
Jollys have a monthly JUGS(Just us Girls) event and the charity event was brilliantly attended by approx 60 of us. We were served a great meal by Butlers in the buff. Our table was the top auction bidding table. I got the Wimbledon tickets - yea and a group of us bid and won the bidding for a sailing holiday in Greece in October... The night raised nearly £4000 and was a great success.
I sold the girls sailing trip to Don as instead of the usual girls ski trip I have had to pass on this year. So another carrot to look forward later in the year. We had our first sailing trip meeting last week so all underway. 8 of us off to enjoy sailing around the Greek islands on a luxury yacht - fantastic. Team colours agreed as turquoise , team name still to be decided..
Hair Update...
I have obviously been far too optimistic in thinking that I would be measuring my hair regrowth by now. Its just over 6 weeks since my last chemo and no obvious signs of hair regrowth on my head. In certain light I can see 1 blond hair approx 1 cm long but its too fine to use as a comb over.
Coupled with that I have lost my lower eyelashes on my left eye so the chemo is obviously still doing its stuff or has a delayed action on the hair follicles. I can cover up loss of eyelashes with makeup so not that obvious.
So hair measuring delayed until hair actually starts growing. Thanks to John my hairdresser - Utopia in Plymouth for the products he dropped in which thicken and encourage hair growth. Have tried a couple of times but again think a little early as no hair to thicken. Looking forward to my lovely mop of curly red hair due to arrive soon.
On the wig front have adopted using Sarah more now. Looks better when worn correctly ie parting to side not the centre! Rewarded Sarah with a trip to Austria.
Back to medical stuff as we move into February..
Had pre op appointment at Derriford and was warned this can take between 2 - 4 hours! This is my first pre_Op so was a little nervous but wasn't too bad. The following took place
1. Height and weight measured
2. Lower legs measured length and width for bespoke Nora batty tights to be worn during Op.
3. Blood pressure taken - high- surprise surprise!
4. Chat with nurse - run through questionnaire - retakes blood pressure - still high. Yes am anxious
5. Nurse decides to do ECG to check high blood pressure not an issue. ECG confirms I have a heart ie not heartless. She asks me to relax during ECG so try and visualise a nice tropical beach, as I visualise me walking into the sea a shark appears! Think that probably shows the frame of mind I am in.
6. Nurse confirms the blood results prior to my last chemo were all good but still have 2 lots of blood taken 2nd an hour after the first.
7. Then swabbed for MRSA - usual nose and mouth swabs. Was surprised when nurse asked me to stand in corner and drop my tights! She then went on to swab my groin( apparently better than your underarm as we use deodorant under our arms)!
All finished after a couple of hours but also learnt the following about the Op lead up procedure:
1. I have to arrive at 7.30am along with everyone else having an op that day. So if your Op is at 4pm there is a long wait.
2. Change into gown, Nora Batty tights slippers and dressing gown
3.Chat with surgeon and consent forms ( I have already done consent forms)
4. Chat with anaesthetist- happy drug given prior to be taken for Op.
So my plan. Arrive 7.30am, change, quick chat - have happy drugs then don't care. Wake up Go home. SIMPLES
On that note I'll update you on what actually happens on my next blog. I have my appointment with the Oncologist on 12 March to sort out Radiotherapy and Tamoxifen and answer questions. I will also be looking to sort tropical moments at the same time.
Thank you for all the thinking of you words, cards, emails & texts etc they are all really appreciated and a tonic. You make going through this far easier.
