Firstly happy Christmas and wishing you all a happy HEALTHY and wonderful 2012. You have all been amazing in your support and encouraging the positiveness that I asked for and needed that it feels frankly lovely to be sitting here writing this blog update having had the final chemo.
So an update as ever from the last blog...
Had 2 chemo cycles falling in December the last fell on 22 Dec which meant that Christmas was spent recuperating. But feeling smug and don't care as
a) got Christmas shopping done - still came up with pressies that I hoped recipients liked even with my chemical brain
b) my chemo chicks did best ever chemo input on the last one - Cannula in in one and girls so keen to get their last minute shopping done all was over in 2 hours- thanks girls
c) Last injection given by Don on 23rd Dec- thanks Don I never did like having it and I know you didn't like giving it
d) On final 10 day course of HUGE antibiotics to take me through my final vulnerable to infection period. This does take me through to end of the first week in Jan 2012 which means that we are missing the cartoon themed New Year fancy dress party that I was planning to make some amazing costumes for So have fun one and all and we'll enjoy some quiet bubbles at home content in the knowledge that you are all having fun and we can look forward to 2012 free of chemo and all the other drugs- well apart from those needed for the Op and the radiotherapy - but more of that a bit later.
So yes I do feel good, relieved, anxious of the next phase but mainly Soooooooooooo happy that the longest and as I am told the worst phase on the way to recovery is over and I got through it fine.( Well Don got the tears mainly for you lot I was fine!)
My oncologist in my last chemo clinic did seem genuinely surprised I had worked through the treatment. In fact said he hadn't come across anyone recently who had worked through the treatment as the chemo is a strong one. I took that as a pat on the back, proverbial gold star which confirms I am a strong bird.( Possibly also because I have my own business but I feel I would have worked as an employee also).
The one thing I would share as has been said to me "I don't think I could have dealt with it as well as you". Well I would probably be saying the same thing if it was a friend going through it and not me But do you know we can go through this crap and deal with it and move forward.
So moving forward to Stages 2 and 3 of the Treatment
On 30 November had meeting with surgeon and breast nurse to discuss options and the way forward. Really there wasn't any choice as a mastectomy with lymph node removal is the recommendation and the route that will be taken ( there was discussion about a radical inclusion(I think that's the term!) but on the basis it would leave little of the breast and I was advised it would not help if I chose a reconstruction later) So 14 Feb - Valentines Day is the day of my Op Chop.
Positively the surgeon was happy to fit in surgery to give me a couple of extra weeks in Jan so we have been able to fit in a weeks skiing - so looking forward to it.
I do have a couple of appointments fixed prior to the Op - In January a meeting with Cheryl the breast nurse to learn about new stuff - like softies which I will update on in my next Blog.
Also pre op appointment in Feb which I understand will take around 4 hours and is lots of tests as usual prior to an Op.
Being completely honest having never had an operation I find the thought really scary. The surgeon advises I have the easy part as as the "Op is a breeze" I am knocked out and wake up after the Op which takes approx 1 1/2 hours and all is done. But as I am nervous of the anticipation Cheryl my breast nurse will try and get me in in the morning slot so I can just arrive and be knocked out. So will push for this.
So a few facts learned about the operation
1. My surgeon advises he gets SAD so is off to South Africa back just before the op. On basis he might be a) jet lagged and b) still affected by sad I feel I will be writing on my right boob "This One" and on the left " Not this one" just to play safe.
2. As mentioned the op only takes 1 1/2 hours - such a short time to have an impact! The mastectomy itself is straight forward it is the lumpectomy which goes into the underarm and over the shoulder that is more complicated. As a result there will be a drain required and I am advised that there may be numbness in my arm and stiffness in my shoulder to deal with.
3. If all goes well I may only need 1 or 2 days in hospital and with exercises should be able to be driving after 2 weeks. So fingers crossed.
4. Consent form signed....
Then that means that Stage 2 of treatment finishes early in March.
At my final Chemo Clinic with the oncologist the first Radiotherapy clinic is set for 12th March. This will fix the date of the first radiotherapy which will run daily for 3 weeks. So whilst we haven't discussed the effects of radiotherapy talking with others this can just make you a little sore and tired. So my plan is to fix my appointments first or last thing so I can have on way to work or on the way home. At which stage I understand that I will then start on a 5 year course of Tamoxifen. So treatments then finished in April. I'll come back to more on these after the Op and when I know more.
So my understanding of the treatments is the following:
1. CHEMOTHERAPY - this treats the whole body. Mainly because even with all the scans there is always the concern that there may be a rogue cell that doesn't show up and chemo will remove these. In my case having the chemo first was also to reduce the size of the tumour so that when they remove they can take some surrounding good tissue off also - ie the aim is to remove all tumour cells. My TAC chemo was given in 6 lots of cycles every 3 weeks. This took me from end July 2011 when lump found to now Dec 11 when finished.
2.OP CHOP - objective is to physically remove the lump and the cancerous cells- so specific.
3. RADIOTHERAPY - again this is a localised treatment directed at the area of where the lump was and is received daily over 3 weeks.
4. TAMOXIFEN - pills needed to be taken over 5 years as I was found to be Oestrogen receptive - ie tumour cells grow faster(I think!) if Oestrogen in the body and this stops Oestrogen production.
So the longest more arduous treatment is over and the remaining 2 phases seem quicker and I am advised are easier to recover from. I will again at this stage mention that each case is different and we all respond differently to the treatments so I will try and remember not to plan too far ahead and take each stage one at a time.
Also I have met some lovely people having my chemo and want to wish them all well. Some of them are going through intensive weekly chemo and make what I am going through seem less significant - I wish you and your loved ones well.
Side Effects & Hair Regrowth
Okay I am going to move into 2012 and my hair will start to regrow as the chemo leaves my system later in January. I am looking forward to having my hair back although I haven't found being a bald bird too bad- probably because I have always know it would grow back. So a few thoughts on this
1. I am gong to need to allow extra time for styling again when it is back - no more shake and add!
2. I will need to visit hairdressers again - not choose either Wiggie Wig or Sarah. Can't have hair bleached for 6 months as hair follicles delicate so will be using temporary hair colour to achieve desired effect.
3. I thought I would have one of those markers on the wall like they have to measure kids heights to record my hair growth.
4. Having a wig is convenient with these bloody hot flushes as I can whip off until I cool down - see later on this.
5. Looking forward to glorious thick and glossy new locks.
6. Wigs become a choice not a necessity ie dressing up not normal day to day stuff - great.
7. I will I feel be less defined by this - something that I have found hard to deal with
And finally heard recently that bald people can hear a snowflake. So I aim to hear a snowflake before my hair is back- so love that thought.
Right over to side effects...the tropical hot moments and considering reconstruction
I have been lucky through the chemo and the side effects have been manageable and bearable. But the worse thing now(not whilst in chemo) is the fact that the chemo has moved my body into menopause. So after 4th chemo my periods ended - so great but then the hot flushes started- so not nice. Yin and Yang...
The oncologist advised that these are more severe than normal as the Oestrogen production has been stopped suddenly in my body rather than gradually if nature took its course. Taking Tamoxifen also ensures this continues.
For me this means that I can be just relaxing and suddenly I feel that I am in a tropical hot place with no shade to shelter in and without the lovely sand and sea to enjoy. Its bizarre and I know the likelihood is that lots of us girls experience this as we move into menopause. I am not willing to accept this without doing something to ease it. I also find that I tend to wake up around 2am again in that hot tropical place.
So I am going to investigate what I can do to help this. The usual courses of treatment - HRT, plant oestrogen etc are not available to me as I can't have any oestrogen triggers. I will drop into Mustard Tree as I am sure they will have information on this. I think diet might help as can sense for example that coffee seems to be a trigger so thought I would monitor to see what else seems to be a trigger. My oncologist did say there was something they could give me that we will chat through at radiotherapy clinic but if I am honest if I can deal with without any more drugs I will. But if not and it helps might go for it. So again I'll let you know more when I do. If you have any suggestions all gratefully received.
One area that I need to explore later is a potential reconstruction but you may not be aware like me untilnow that there are implications here that can have a lquality of life impact. As I am having radiotherapy after the Op any reconstruction has to be later anyway. But and this is a big but for me as my surgeon advised you get out of a reconstruction what you put into it - a bit like life I thought. What he meant was the following:
1. I could have a quick implant. So one quick boob job, and one normal boob - not a natural look I feel. or
2. They could construct a boob taking muscle from back or stomach which looks much more natural. However there are potential life quality impacts. If muscle is taken from the back this can weaken the arm and could mean I couldn't play tennis or ski - so not what I would choose. If from stomach weakens that area.
Anyway the discussion on reconstruction was only initial. Given my thoughts on operations I may not go for it anyway. But who knows how I'll feel after the Op Chop. After all my first thought was that I wouldn't have a wig but I did so watch this space. It is a womans perogative to chage her mind.
So you may be able to tell I am feeling pretty chipper as chemo has finished and I can ignore Op until February.
I am looking forward to a "normal" January without hospital visits and a weeks skiing.
I'll update when I have some more news or information.
In the meantime thanks again for all your positive vibes and good wishes they have really helped. So lets all have a wonderful, healthy, fun and prosperous 2012.
